Hello, Papa. I hope you are watching me, and proud.

Since you left, I have been thinking about you. You are always there. Every hour, every day. I miss you. A lot. I am sorry for not talking to you for 2 years. I was lost. There is so much to tell you. I will take my time.

Your family loves you a lot, everyone cried a lot. Your elder sister cries every time she sees me, she says I look just like you, and remind her of you. Your elder brother cried a lot, he was asking why you had to leave him behind, half way through? More than 300 people came to your Funeral, Every family member was there, They were all sad.

I came back home after 2 months, really scared of what I was going to do. Just took a Job I did not love. Long Story short, I was scared and stopped believing in me. Don't worry, now I'm back, left the Job. Good thing is I worked really hard, doing things I was interested in as well.

Along the way, I lost myself. I was not feeling anything for a long time. Every festival scared me, because I would not get to pick you up from the station anymore, you were not coming home. I'm sorry I could not prevent Didi and Mummy from being sad, I was sad too, I tried hard, but they were still sad.

I stopped talking to them much, I started pretending to be Happy, I thought this will fix things, but all it did was prevent them from talking about you, they might be trying to save me as well. I know, it's not how we are supposed to do things, it's just that I did not know what to do. I forgave myself, I was only 21 after all. Hoping you forgive me too. We talk about you now, everyone cries, I try to cry too. I can cry sometimes now.

Enough with the Sad things. Let's talk about good things now. I feel like I found myself again, the same old "dream big" Prateek, your Son. I started loving myself again. I started attending family events, a lot of people still don't know me, but they know me as your son and take care of me.

I went on my first International trip, Austria. Your boy is big now, people love him, respect him, want to spend time with him. I was invited there as a speaker. I am sorry I drank alcohol, I was just very sad that I couldn't see you being proud of me.

I met many people there, they are all so amazing. People from India were very kind humans. Harsh is a senior, I kind of think of him as an elder brother of mine now. Then there is Hrithik, a very different guy from Kolkata. I relate with him on many levels, he is ambitious, I like to talk to him. Finally Animesh, he is again, a very different person. He paid for me almost everywhere haha (I paid him back). This was our first time meeting and still he was such a cool and caring person.

I met this girl, she wants to be a teacher. It felt different talking to her. I went on a date with her, I think I messed up I couldn't talk much. It's hard to put what I feel into words now, but it's just that she showed me a different world altogether. I didn't open up to her a lot, because I knew I had to leave on the night. I didn't want to fall for her, I'm scared, maybe of the distance, or just me. I just wanted you to know about her.

I am going to start my own company, I don't like to work under a boss I guess. It's the way you brought me up. I want to have my time, I want to make my own decisions, help people, build something that matters, I want to be a very capable man. It is going to be hard, very hard, but I know I can do it. Thank you for making me who I am.

I think I am Happy now, I laugh, dream, maybe I can fall in love again too. I am going to do great things.